Tattoos & Unicorns Read online

  I was ready to start a family, or at least I thought I was. A shiver shot down my spine when I thought about having a baby with Derek. As much as I wanted children, to be pregnant now would only cause me heartache. I knew exactly how it would play out. I'd tell him, and he'd pull me back in. He'd convince me that we could make us work, and I'd let him.

  “You coming to bed?” Morgan asked as she came back down the hall in her pajamas. “We have a busy day tomorrow.”

  I nodded, before giving my dad a kiss on his cheek.

  “Goodnight, Dad.”

  “Night, Ronnie.” He winked.

  Morgan gave my dad a little wave, and then she reached for my hand pulling me into my childhood bedroom.

  “It's so surreal being here.” She laughed. “So many conversations about boys were held in this room.”

  “Not only boys.” I said, arching a brow.

  “I kissed a girl, one time!” She said. “And I blame Katy Perry. What teenage girl wouldn't be curious after hearing that song?”

  “I wasn't.” I teased.

  “You were a prude! Hell, you still are.” She teased back.

  I knew she was only joking, but it still hurt hearing the word. I wanted so badly to fit in and be a part of the crowd, that Derek and I slept together way before I was ready. I thought that if I just got it over with, then things would be easier. I was only fifteen, and instead of helping it only seemed to complicate things further.

  Derek wanted it more, and if I didn't oblige I felt bad. I thought it was my duty as his girlfriend to make him happy, and the way that the other girls spoke about it made it sound fun. I started to embellish then, and when word got back to Derek he was actually really sweet about it. Instead of getting mad at me, we talked about our likes and dislikes, and how we could do better.

  It was one of the most embarrassing conversations I had ever had, but after having it I started to enjoy sex. Derek became my closest friend, and he knew things that even Morgan didn't. There were times when things were going really well, that I'd start to worry about her taking him away. Like she'd given him to me as some kind of gift.

  I'd catch him smile at her, or she'd wave at him from across the room. My mind would race, because I knew that all she had to do was bat her eyelashes and he'd be holding her hand instead of mine. I told him about my insecurities once, and he spent the entire night trying to wash them away. To his credit, he always made me feel loved in the beginning.

  “Ronnie?” Morgan asked, shaking me from my thoughts. “I was only teasing.”

  “I know.” I said, with a smile. “It's just... do you think I should tell him?”

  “Do you want to?”

  “I think I do.”

  She grabbed her cell from the top of my dresser then, and handed it to me.

  “Call him.”

  I glanced at the alarm clock, noting the time. It was just after ten PM, and I knew he'd be getting ready for bed soon. I didn't owe him anything. I didn't have to tell him that I was leaving, but I wanted to. I needed to. So, I accepted the gesture and dialed his number. On the second ring I heard his voice, and my stomach immediately began to churn.

  “Hello?” He said again, when I didn't respond.

  “Derek.” I answered, softly.

  “Ronnie! Oh baby girl, thank God! Where are you? Are you-”

  “I'm fine.” I said, stopping him mid sentence. “I just... I wanted to let you know that I'm leaving for New York tomorrow.”

  “New York?” He asked. “But-”

  “I've already taken care of everything. The venues, the caterers, the flowers... everything's been canceled. I guess I just wanted to say goodbye.”

  “Goodbye? Baby girl please, don't leave. Not like this. Meet me? I'll come to you-”

  “Derek-”

  “Ronnie, please.” He begged. “I need to see you.”

  Morgan's arms were crossed, and she was shaking her head no. I knew that she was right, but a part of me wanted to say yes. A part of me wanted to meet him somewhere. To feel his arms around me, and his lips on mine one last time. A tear slid down my cheek then, and I knew that If I did this. If I agreed to see him that I wouldn't be able to walk away again. So with every ounce of strength that I could muster I whispered goodbye, and handed the phone back to Morgan.

  She immediately hit the end button, and then powered her phone off before sitting down beside me on the bed.

  “Are you alright?”

  “No.” I admitted, and she put her arm around me.

  “He's a fool.”

  “How do I shut it off? How do I stop loving him?”

  “I wish I could tell you. Do you want to know what works for me?”

  “What?”

  “A sexy rebound guy.”

  “How do you do it? Don't you feel uncomfortable? Insecure? Just the thought of being naked in front of a new man makes me nervous.”

  “I guess I've never really thought about it. I meet a guy, we click, and one thing leads to another. Maybe it's because I know that I won't see him again? Or maybe I just don't care what they think? I'm not with them to impress them. I'm with them to scratch a mutual itch.”

  “Don't you have to feel something?”

  “I do. I feel an attraction.” She winked.

  “You're right. I'm still a prude.”

  “One night stands aren't for everyone, it doesn't make you a prude. It just makes you value yourself. It's a good quality to have, Ronnie. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself for being a good person.”

  “Look where it's gotten me though.”

  “You mean opening up your own boutique? Or sitting beside your best friend, about to embark on an epic journey to the fashion capital?” She asked excitedly.

  I laughed. “Well, when you put it that way.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Come on, let's get some sleep. You've got a lot of driving to do in the morning.”

  “Me? Why am I driving?”

  “You know I can't function before stopping by Starbucks.”

  “You're unbelievable.” I said, as I climbed into the bed.

  “Don't worry, I'll buy you an iced coffee too.” She said, climbing in beside me.

  I pulled the comforter up, and over us before turning to switch off the light.

  “If you're making me drive at seven AM, you owe me more than an iced coffee.”

  “Fine. I'll buy doughnuts too.” She yawned.

  “Glazed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Custard too?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about those-”

  “Ronnie if you close your eyes and go to sleep, I'll buy you the entire menu!” She quietly snapped with annoyance.

  I giggled, and she swatted my arm playfully.

  “Goodnight, Morgan.” I said, reaching for her hand and giving it a slight squeeze.

  “Night, Ronnie.” She said, squeezing mine back.

  As I closed my eyes, an image of Derek popped into my head. He was smiling, and I started to smile too. Then the image became distorted, and his face turned into two. The woman who fled my apartment was standing beside him now. They were holding hands, and she stood up on her toes to kiss the stubble on his cheek.

  I opened my eyes then, and stared blankly at the ceiling. Morgan stirred beside me, but I was still lost in thought inside my mind. Would I ever be able to close my eyes without seeing them? I sighed, and turned onto my side so that I was facing Morgan.

  Her blonde hair was splayed beautifully over her pillow, and I couldn't help but feel a small tinge of jealousy. Everything always came so easy to her. School, making friends, dating. Will she even need me once we get to New York? She's the designer. I'll be like a silent partner, working on all the financials, and riding her coat tails.

  “Veronica Locke stop over thinking, and go to bed.” She suddenly mumbled, startling me.

  “Sorry.” I whispered.

  “Goodnight. Again.” She whispered back with annoyance.

&
nbsp; “Goodnight.”

  FOUR

  WHEN THE ALARM I SET, had my phone buzzing across my bedside table the next morning, I was less than impressed. I tossed, and turned most of the night, and when I did manage to sleep I dreamt about Derek. I know that he was only on my mind because I was leaving. He was the last person I spoke to on the phone, and he was the last person I thought of when I closed my eyes. It didn't mean anything. It didn't change anything.

  I turned the alarm off, and gave Morgan a little shove.

  “Rise, and shine.” I said in a sing song voice.

  “Five more minutes.” She grumbled, sleepily.

  “What happened to stopping for Starbucks?”

  “That's why I love you Ronnie.” She said, as she tossed the comforter aside. “Always the voice of reason.”

  I shook my head, before climbing out of bed myself. I quickly changed out of my pajamas, and into the leggings and tee shirt I'd left out the night before. I knew that Morgan would internally cringe, but I wasn't worried about fashion while I was behind the wheel of an old Ford. More often than not, comfort always won out.

  When I finished changing, I grabbed the small bag of toiletries I'd set aside and went into the bathroom to take care of business. By the time Morgan had dressed, and done the same nearly an hour had passed. Mostly because she was concerned with fashion. The only person I had to impress was the Starbucks barista, and I was sure she couldn't care less.

  My dad even woke up to see us off, and I'm not ashamed to say that more than a few tears fell from my eyes. Even though I knew that I'd be seeing him soon, I couldn't help but feel like I was ending a pretty significant chapter in my life.

  With our bags packed, and a fully stocked cooler in the back seat, Morgan and I climbed into the old pick up. I turned the key, and a few minutes later we were starting our slow descent down the long driveway. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as we got closer, and closer to the road. There was no looking back now.

  I kept my eyes on the road, as she fiddled with her I-pod, attempting to connect it to the old radio. I laughed to myself, before switching the stereo to the local country station.

  “I made a play list!” She pouted.

  “This truck is from the nineties.” I laughed. “No blue tooth.”

  “That's archaic!” She said, putting her I-pod back into her bag.

  “Just like your road map.” I teased. “Please tell me we're using a GPS device.”

  “Wouldn't you rather hear my voice telling you which way to turn?”

  “Absolutely not!” I laughed. “You've always been a bit... directional-y challenged.”

  “It's not my fault you don't know the difference between your this ways, and that ways.”

  I rolled my eyes. “How long is the drive before we reach our first destination?”

  She grabbed her phone from her purse, and pulled up the route she'd marked on the original map.

  “It's only about a three hour drive until we reach Virginia.”

  “Then why did we leave so damn early?”

  “To avoid traffic.” She said, reasonably.

  I sighed. A three hour drive to Virginia didn't sound so bad. At least it wasn't thirteen, and we wouldn't have to stop for gas or food. Morgan had already booked us a hotel for the week, so when we arrived we'd at least have a little down time. Maybe even relax by the pool for a bit. Of course there was a pool, a hot tub, and a five star gym. Morgan wouldn't have it any other way.

  After grabbing breakfast, and coffee from Starbucks we made our way towards the on ramp. The expressway was eerily empty at this time of day. Aside from a few early risers probably heading to work, we had control of the motor way. I understood why Morgan wanted to leave so early now. I didn't travel much. She was the jet setting fashionista in our little duo. I was happy to stay home in my little town where everyone knew me. Which was probably why everyone was so surprised by my choice in career.

  My mom thought that I'd settle down with Derek, and never leave Raleigh. Even though I graduated from college, and Morgan and I had always had New York in our sights. I think she believed that when push, came to shove that I'd chicken out. It wasn't that I was afraid to leave the proverbial nest, I just didn't see a reason to. She thought again, that Derek's betrayal would make me want to stay, but in fact it did the opposite.

  Knowing that my leaving put a wrench in his plans, somehow made my decision to run a little easier. As far as I know, he still has a job lined up in New York, but not much else. The home we planned on moving into is no longer available. Morgan made sure of that when she found the apartment for us on such short notice. She won't admit it, but I'm sure she paid someone to make that happen so quickly.

  For all of her faults, she was one of the most loyal people I knew. I owed her so much. Even now, for this trip. I never would have done something like this on my own. I never would have had the courage too. Sometimes it takes a polar opposite to pull you out of your comfort zone, and show you what you've been missing. Or in my case, to force you to move on.

  I'm not saying that I'd forgive Derek if it weren't for Morgan, but I'd probably still be with him. A part of me still wants to be, and that's what scares me. If I were to see him again I'm honestly not sure how I would react. How could the man you love the most in the world, also be the one who hurt you the most? Love was a fickle thing, and from this point on I promised myself that I was done with it.

  I was going to live my life as a single woman. Morgan and I were going to rock the opening of Sew New, and then I'd buy myself a gorgeous house. When I knew that I was financially set, I'd look into adoption or in vitro fertilization. No more love, no more messy break ups. Just me, living my best life. Oprah didn't need a husband, and neither did I.

  “You do know that Oprah has Stedman though, right?”

  “What?” I asked, focusing on the road.

  “You think aloud a lot. Most of the time it comes out as little mumbles, but I've learned to interpret them pretty well.”

  I blushed. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Clearly.”

  “What's the name of the hotel we're staying at?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “Courtyard Lynchburg, it's a Marriott Chain.”

  “Any fun facts about Lynchburg?” I teased.

  “Go ahead and laugh, but there's a little shop called Gladiola Girls, that the locals rave about. But what I'm really excited to show you is Speakertree Records. I know how much you love your vinyl collection, and I've heard such great things.”

  “Wow! I'm really impressed, and touched that you'd think of me.”

  “Of course I'd think of you, you're my best friend.” She scoffed.

  That right there, is why I loved Morgan Astor. She may seem like a self absorbed rich girl on the outside, but she has depth too. A depth that she doesn't normally show to anyone else, but it's there. I smiled to myself at the thought. Maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad after all.

  AFTER FINDING A PARKING space at our hotel, the two of us made our way into the front lobby. The entry way was absolutely gorgeous. The ceilings were vaulted, and there was actual marble on the floors. There were laptop computers sitting open on desks, and I could see the entrance to the gym off to the right.

  As we approached the desk, Morgan gave the woman sitting behind it her signature smile.

  “We have a reservation under Astor.” She said, adjusting her sunglasses on her head.

  “Of course, Miss Astor.” She said, clacking away on her keyboard. “We have you, and a Miss Veronica Locke booked for a six night, seven day stay. Is this correct?”

  “It is.”

  “Wonderful! I'll just need the credit card you used to confirm.”

  Morgan pulled her wallet from her purse, and dug around for the black card that I was all too familiar with. She smiled politely, before passing it to the woman, and waiting. After a few minutes the woman frowned.

  “I'm sorry, Miss Astor. There seems t
o be a problem with this card.”

  “That's impossible.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest. “It's a black card.”

  “I can see that.” She said, turning it over in her hand. “But it doesn't seem to be working.”

  “Not the color, you imbecile!” Morgan snapped. “It's a black card. As in, it has no limit!”

  The woman blinked rapidly. “Oh. I uh. I see. Let me just get my manager for you.”

  “You do that... Beverly.” She said, in a menacing tone as she squinted to read the woman's name tag.

  “Was that really necessary?” I asked, as Beverly scrambled away.

  Morgan rolled her eyes. “It's probably the card reader.”

  A few seconds later, an attractive older man came out from what I assumed was his office. He approached the desk, and extended his hand towards Morgan.

  “I'm sorry for Beverly's ignorance, Miss Astor. It appears your father has already paid for the rooms in advance with a separate card.”

  Morgan stood a little taller. “Of course he has. Daddy's always trying to help when he can.” She smiled sweetly, her angry demeanor suddenly gone.

  “Please, allow my son to help you with your luggage.”

  “It's in the old pick up parked around back.” She said, extending her hand. “We'll take our room keys now.”

  “Of course, Miss Astor.”

  With a few clicks of the mouse, the manager had as all checked in, and escorted us personally to our rooms. We were on the ground floor, and our connecting suites had shared access to an outdoor patio complete with lounge chairs, a hot tub, and even a small fire pit. Normally I wasn't too crazy about Morgan tossing money around, but I had to admit that I wouldn't mind living here for the next week.

  Even though our rooms were adjoining, they each had their own character. Mine had a queen size bed, with a love seat at the end of it. The television was mounted on the wall, and beneath it was a large oak dresser. A small microwave, mini fridge, and a coffee pot sat on top of it, along with fresh ground coffee, sugar, and creamer.